My relationship with my only daughter will forever be an extraordinary one. I grew up in a family of five women with a mother I still make as my first call in crisis, questioning and reassurance. So I am familiar with what that connection looks, feels and sounds like. What I didn’t know anything about was the connection between a mother and her son.
Isaiah has taught me so many things and has been one of the most extraordinary relationships in my life. His arrival changed everything and while I know that is what so many parents say, he shifted everything out of order and in place all at the same time. He was the first person who showed me what an innate bond and unconditional love felt like. Before I knew him, I loved him. Before I knew he was on his way, I knew I wanted him.
It’s been five years since this spirit chose me to be his mom. It’s an overwhelmingly sacred and scary gift. He continues to show and teach me new things about him, myself and us.
This particular day was not unlike other days where he offered an invitation almost simultaneously when I was calling out for one. His father had all three kids downstairs while I was upstairs getting work done. I walked back downstairs to prepare dinner when Isaiah’s love was pouring out from his excitement to show me what he had made for me.
He wrote me his very own love letter.
A love letter.
His father explained that Isaiah insisted that he write me a letter, but that he was worried because he couldn’t write. So he wrote down what Isaiah had to say. I knelt down and read it. “Bright chap stick” and “painted nails.” He turned a shade of soft pink and awaited my response. I screeched, scooped him up and kissed him until the saliva from my cheeks welt up. I could have eaten my own kid in that very moment. It’s the truth.
Autumn chased behind him to show me what she made for me too, but the invitation was surely from my son in that moment.
I had the letter up on the fridge for some time before I made sure to put it in his treasure chest. I want to make sure I never lose it so I even took a picture of it. I figured I might need an insurance policy on the next person to occupy that space in his heart. For now, my five-year old has an admiration and unmatched love for his mama.
Oh and two other things. I unknowingly wear bright chap stick and need to get to the nail salon because I can’t tell you the last time I’ve painted my nails.
In Love & Truth,