It was and is not your fault.
You were born into a world that is hardened by the fear of sensitivity and the vulnerable corners we all retreat to; yet you were born to sing your way out of.
People don’t like depth. It’s a hollow and unpredictable place many people choose not to travel to, so they prefer to plant their feet where life remains shallow. It’s not your fault you didn’t know how to choose people who would dive into the fear you were pushed into. It’s not your fault that integrity, faithfulness and character take years to truly recognize.
People walk away and yes, I’m afraid to tell you that they may not come back.
They didn’t walk away because of you. Their backs turned because that is the only sight you were meant to see. It’s not your fault you were, like so many of us taught to chase what couldn’t
Honor you and
Only one person can do that. And guess what? One day you might actually find that you are the one brave enough to demand more, expect more and find the courage to walk away.
This is what I want you to know.
Keep singing the innocence life silenced. Keep writing to God in that journal because He listens even when we lose faith and He is waiting to be spoken to. Keep living loudly because that innate confidence you were born with is contagious and in 32 years you will crawl your way back to find it.
Keep speaking the truth and even loudly when people attempt to shame you because in 32 years you will know how to stay true to God’s grace in you. Continue being feisty and outspoken. It will be that tenacious spirit and voice that will detest defeat and demand to be heard when it matters most. Lean into the pain and continue expressing it. The right people will lean back and embrace the depths they seek to find in others beyond the shore of life, love and happiness.
Love yourself first so that when love approaches you, it won’t have the ability to destroy you. Honor who you are and trust that you’re treasured so that when someone betrays the heart of you, it won’t take you years to recognize its face. Stand tall, continue to take risks and remember that the best people don’t always choose the best people. Life will teach you that and yes, sometimes it takes time.
I offer you all of the apologies for all of the people who didn’t offer one.
I’m sorry for all of the times pride got in the way of people giving the recognition you rightfully earned.
When you lose the path of who you are, go back. Go back to that goofy, happy, lovable and confident girl. She is you and she is waiting for you to visit again.
Most important, thank you.
Thank you for carrying me into the phases of life the 38 year old woman may not have had the courage to walk through had it not been for the young girl you were, even through the “in between” of it all.
In Love & Courage