When I became a mother, I was offered an invitation. Motherhood continues to provide daily invitations to seek truth and live authentically. It provides an invitation to wake up and be seen, despite my imperfections and failures. My children provide daily invitations to experience joy when I can’t always find it or offer unconditional love when I am grieving the loss of it. When my fear of never being enough or what they need becomes overwhelming, they unknowingly provide invitations to get up every day and be seen for all of who I am. Their invitations give me strength, courage and determination to live truthfully so that I can honor the spirits that chose me to be their mom.
What are your invitations? Some days they may be silenced behind pain, suffering or sheer exhaustion. For me, there are many moments that shamefully pass me by and I reconcile with the reality that I can’t get those sacred moments back. I know I’m not alone. Are you letting them pass you by through the struggle? I am learning that the invitations exist for all of us, even if differently.
What are yours? Maybe you receive invitations from your beloved pet? Maybe it’s your faith or performing acts of service? Could it be the way a certain song provides a temporary escape from thoughts that hold you captive? Is it a scent, a movie, book or photographs? What brings you peace?
I wanted to commit to providing a regular space for the three invitations in my life. They are three children who chose an imperfect mother and believed in their choice more than I did. I want them to know that I proudly accept their invitation and the challenges that come with it (all). I hope that someday they can look back and know that their mother honored their invitations to not only see them, but to acknowledge all of the ways they saw me too.
To the three that make my heart ache with immense love and pride. This is for you Isaiah, Autumn and Benny.
Your hopelessly devoted and flawed mama